By Tamika Brown –
As we strive to live our individual lives consciously, we should set the same standard for our intimate relationships. What does a conscious relationship look like? How is a conscious relationship achieved? Are there levels of consciousness when you are in an authentically conscious relationship?
Generally, when we think of intimate relationships, we think of two individuals interacting on both an emotional and physical level. Intimate relationships are driven primarily by attraction, passion, and commitment. Prior to reaching a level of awakening most intimate relationships come packed with assumptions and expectations about the direction that they will eventually take, including marriage, monogamy, and even children. The primary focus is not growing together through the process; it is the destination. Just as we should strive for awareness in our individual lives, we should also strive for awareness in our intimate relationships. An awakened relationship is referred to as a conscious relationship. What does a conscious relationship look like and what does it take to have one?
When it comes to picking a relationship apart, there are usually three individuals involved: both partners and the relationship itself. Every relationship has a life of its own which is shaped and characterized by what both partners bring to it. A conscious relationship can be viewed as a piece of fabric, which is woven together by six interdependent threads, making a unique tapestry. This may sound like there is a lot of work involved, however, relationships shouldn’t be packed with a lot of work, but they should consistently be worked on.
As I mentioned previously, there are six interdependent facets of a conscious relationship: active trust, commitment to growth and purpose, forgiveness, responsibility, authenticity, and oneness. Each relationship has its own exclusive balance. However, each of these six facets are present and work together to cultivate the union.
Active Trust: Trust in a relationship is a choice as well as an action. When two individuals make a conscious, deliberate effort to trust one another, together they can move mountains. When a person practices active trust in a relationship, they allow themselves to be vulnerable. They give someone else the power to hurt them, but they trust that this will not happen because their partner has opened themselves up in the same way. When active trust is a priority, both individuals have decided that by opening themselves up in this way, the relationship will flourish in ways that may be unimaginable to some.
Commitment to Growth and Purpose: First comes growth and purpose; then comes the outcome. The conscious couple is committed to growing together in a purposeful unit. Instead of living for tomorrow, they have mastered living in the moment. To the conscious couple, experiencing growth is more important than casting their focus on possible outcomes of the relationship. If tomorrow is the focus, it’s difficult to savor the blessings of today. This doesn’t mean that the future outcome isn’t thought about or discussed. It means that when both individuals are focused on growth and purposeful living; they realize that everything that is meant to happen will fall into place purposefully.
Forgiveness: When it comes to forgiving, it’s important to realize that forgiveness is for the forgiver. It doesn’t just involve forgiving the partner; it also involves forgiving self. When one consciously forgives he or she does so consistently and immediately. Both individuals in the relationship recognize the danger of holding grudges. It’s difficult to move forward while carrying the baggage from the past on your shoulders. The key is to forgive and grow forward.
Responsibility: In a conscious relationship both individuals understand the importance of taking responsibility for their own baggage. Taking responsibility includes being accountable for one’s wellbeing and happiness. This includes being open and honest about feelings and expressing them openly in a healthy manner. The conscious couple can relate to one another as responsible individuals.
Authenticity: Keeping it “real” is a priority. For a relationship to be in a conscious state, both individuals must be in a conscious state as well. Of course, the goal should be for each person to grow individually, as well in the relationship as a unit. As individuals, our goal for each day should be to be better than we were yesterday. However, this does not mean expecting perfection. The conscious couple is able to embrace and love one another where they are. They are committed to consistent growth and purposeful living. All feelings are welcome and there is no condemnation.
Oneness: Moving forward on one accord is the ultimate focus. Although there may be disagreements from time to time, the conscious couple is able to come together and meet on a common ground. There is no superiority. Instead, there is harmony. All is done with growth, purpose, and unity in mind. Since the conscious couple grows together as a unit, they are not easily broken. The roots of the relationship are deeply planted.
As anything else in life, it takes time and consistent commitment to achieve a conscious relationship. The key is to never give up. Once you understand the dynamics, you are on your way to achieving greatness both as an individual, as well as a unit. Until next time… Go Be Great!
Tamika Brown is a certified professional life coach, a writer and a motivational speaker. Her main areas of focus are inspiration, growth, and transition. For coaching needs and booking information please contact via email at firstname.lastname@example.org or via phone at 815-742-0092. For more information regarding her services please refer to her website at www.meekbrown.com .