By Alecia Rice
Ask Alecia August
Question: This past year, I’ve noticed a pattern with my emotionally sensitive cousin. We’ll be in a group together and she’ll all of the sudden get up and leave the room, seemingly in an emotional huff with no explanation. It’s a horrible feeling that leaves the air thick in the room for everyone there questioning what happened. She often seems tender and I don’t know how to handle it, but I do know that I don’t want to keep having this experience. Any suggestions? ~Bewildered
This pandemic has affected many of us mentally, as well as in deeply emotional ways. It can sometimes be difficult to pinpoint what we’re actually feeling and why. If it’s difficult for us to gauge what’s wrong, it can be even more challenging for others who certainly can’t understand unless we explain to them.
If your cousin is an emotionally sensitive person, introvert, or empath, getting together in groups can be even more challenging than it was before. Many, even those who aren’t typically wired in those ways, can find themselves feeling socially awkward or overwhelmed, not knowing what to do with the energy they’re feeling and only knowing that they feel the need to escape.
Nonetheless, a rapid exit from group activities with no explanation can leave others feeling energetically hijacked, disrupting their flow as they question what happened and what they did wrong. It’s not fair to leave others in that state, so it’s best to briefly explain the circumstances before leaving the room, but sometimes even that can feel overwhelming.
During some neutral down time, I’d suggest that you talk to your cousin about what this feels like for her, and for the group, so you can better understand. Explain that you understand overwhelm and are empathetic to her feelings, but that she needs to find a better way to do it that doesn’t affect others so severely. If explaining is too much at the time, you might consider using the code word “Simoment”, as in “I need to take a Simoment”. This code word was inspired by Simone Biles when she chose to take a break from the Olympics for mental health reasons. It’s a great way to signal the need for alone time without explanation when others are familiar with the meaning of the code word ahead of time.
Many of us are a bit overwhelmed with confusing thoughts and feelings as the world rapidly shifts around us affecting our inner worlds. More than ever, knowing oneself is key to staying balanced, along with the application of liberal doses of mindful self-care. Just as important, is finding a way to communicate that we’re struggling, in a way that keeps the energy flow for others, but also doesn’t push us over the edge. Using code words is a great way to highlight an issue while not having to take the time to explain in depth when we’re already teetering on the brink.
Question: I’m so angry since the pandemic started. I don’t like what the government and corporations are doing. I’m afraid of the vaccines and at the same time, I’m afraid not to get one. I see all kinds of conflicting information flying around and I don’t know how to process and cope with it all. ~Which Way to Turn?
Dear Which Way to Turn?~
These are confusing times to be sure. While I can’t speak of the vaccines and the controversy around them, I can speak to the base of your issues — which are fear and confusion.
All thoughts and emotions can be reduced down to the base instincts of love or fear. Fear can be a trickster that camouflages itself; if what we’re feeling isn’t love, then it has to be fear.
Fear and confusion aren’t comfortable, yet they serve higher purposes. Positive results can develop that are silver linings of consciousness which arise from challenging times. It starts as uncomfortable feelings that snag our attention, demanding that we find answers. Discomfort brings change, and change brings growth… so ultimately, these uncomfortable feelings send us on a search for answers so we can settle into a more balanced state of comfort and ease.
As we seek to pluck the strands of discomfort and fear from our lives, this churning mill of chaos ultimately raises consciousness on the planet, helping us to discover the truer essence of ourselves as we seek clearer truth signals through the chaos of the white noise.
Most of what we’re experiencing isn’t an easy fix and is out of our control, so it’s important to return to ourselves to work our inner worlds as a way to cope with the outer world. Apply liberal doses of attention and intention to the fear so that you’ll be more peaceful inside, regardless of what’s going on outside.
Alecia Rice is a Spiritual Alchemist and a personal advisor for those ready to unravel their issues with conscious choices. She offers grounded perspectives for energy management and sage insights in columns, videos, and podcasts. Visit www.AskAlecia.com for more information. Submit personal questions and quandaries to firstname.lastname@example.org.