By Alecia Rice
Q. Our friend will be our houseguest for several days. We look forward to her arrival, yet in the past, some houseguest visits didn’t go so well. What can we do to make her stay comfortable for everyone?
— Anxious Hosts
A. Dear Anxious Hosts,
If you’re trying to live a conscious, peaceful life with less drama, one of the keys is to give it some much-deserved forethought to attempt to steer clear of as many unexpected issues as possible. This smooths the path with good communication in advance in ways that aren’t quite as easy once your guest enters your home.
First, sit down with your spouse to discuss what their needs are during the stay. Once you are both unified in needs and expectations, you’ll want to have a clear, neutral conversation with your guest before she arrives. Doing so sets the tone in advance so that everyone knows what to expect during her stay.
Summer is coming, and for many, that means guests. Here are some suggestions:
Arrival/Departure – Ensure that you are all in agreement as to arrival and departure dates. Sometimes people are having such a great time, they want to extend their trip. This puts you in the driver’s seat to deny the extension, if it’s not convenient, or extend the date if you’re enjoying it just as much.
Meals – Will you be cooking or going out to eat? What are expectations to pay for food? Ask about special dietary needs. Would you prefer to play host or would you prefer for them to make themselves at home and meet their own needs?
Entertainment – What does your guest expect to do while there? Who will pay for the entertainment?
Allergies – Are they allergic to your pets or certain foods?
Sleeping accommodations – Will they have a private bedroom/bathroom? Will they sleep in a bed, on a couch or on an air mattress?
Your daily rituals – Are you an early/late riser who requires downtime to prepare for your day/bedtime, such as meditating or doing yoga? Do you need silent time before you engage your guest? Are you an introvert who needs to retire early to recharge from the day?
Forethought on these issues with good discussion up front honors all involved and can definitely bring clarity to both parties. Sometimes these conversations can throw up red flags that will allow you to hash out the details before your guest arrives. For example, if they have pet allergies, that may end up being a no-go ahead of time, which is better than finding out once she gets there which can make it unpleasant for everyone.
This is just one small example of good communication and conscious living which can ultimately lead to less stress and conflict in life.
Q. I see double standards everywhere I look which annoys me. I hate remaining agitated. How do I change? — Agitated and Annoyed
A. Dear Agitated and Annoyed,
Hypocrisy is irritating to most. Unfortunately, we have no control over it, but we can choose how we react and feel about it.
When things irritate us about others, that’s more of our own problem than it is theirs because it’s our inner peace that gets stirred up, not theirs. Managing our thoughts and feelings
is our responsibility, not someone else’s. This is where consciousness can be applied to our reactions. Our ultimate goal is to work towards managing our energy and remaining in inner calm. Once one has mastered their thoughts, reactions and feelings, regardless of what’s happening outside themselves, they’ve learned to nurture a sense of inner peace, freedom
We live in a world of duality and triggers abound. Hypocrisy shows up more clearly than it ever has in recent history. Although many people are quite pained about the state of the times we live in, I don’t necessarily see these times as negative. In my world, there is a silver lining to every dark cloud. I know that human tendency is to stay complacent when things are comfortable. I also know that many people won’t change and are quite resistant to it until they are so uncomfortable that they’re forced to. Change means growth and expansion and is often a challenging experience.
This is the perfect time to take the many challenges we’re surrounded by and reflect on ourselves from the inside, seeking a higher perspective, as this offers us the opportunity to raise our vibration and make lemons into lemonade. Make a conscious choice to make life sweet, regardless of what’s happening externally.
Alecia Rice integrates higher concepts with wisdom to bring forth balance, perspective, and clarity. She’s a personal advisor, speaker and gatherer of women. For perspective on personal issues, you’re invited to text questions and comments to 681-321-1109. Discussions continue at Ask Alecia on Facebook.