Ask Alecia – April 2021

By Alecia Rice

Q: My life is chaos! I lost my job. My boyfriend left me. I have to move, and I feel like a complete mess! It seems that my life started unraveling immediately after making a spiritual commitment to my calling. I thought I was making the right choice, but now I’m unsure and afraid. Do you have insight? — Spiritually Threadbare

A: Dear Spiritually Threadbare,

Chaos is a mechanism that redistributes power—both internally and externally. It’s a change agent that’s often accompanied by its cohort—fear—due to the mystery of uncertainty. We often feel most vulnerable and afraid when chaos is stirring because it keeps our egos and nervous systems on high alert due to constant change. This is happening in the current collective as well as on the individual level. As above, so below.

When life gets chaotic and painful, we often think we’re doing something wrong, not realizing that we’re being dismantled and rearranged for a higher purpose. This may happen after going through a major shift, like aligning with our soul’s purpose. Shifts often create an energetic reverberation across all areas of our lives. When internal and external circumstances become really severe, it’s called the “dark night of the soul.”

On our way to relocating closer to our next spiritual gig, course corrections can be challenging to navigate while disentangling from the tight knots of previous choices and relationships that don’t serve us anymore. This unraveling of life circumstances sometimes brings with it the companions of pain, inconvenience, and loneliness which can cause us to question if we’re making a bad choice. We’ve been conditioned to view difficulty as doing something “wrong,” but remember, difficulty in the outside world doesn’t always directly reflect the purpose of the inside world. Sometimes it’s merely energetic realignment.

This is where spiritual maturity comes in. As we’re asked to dig deeper to discern what’s true for us, an internal “knowing” arises which helps us to recognize where we’re in alignment and out of alignment. Continue to seek those internal clues to better discern whether you’re being spiritually revitalized, or if you are still out of alignment with your purpose.

Q: I’ve changed over the last several years. Never before would I have wished anything bad on someone else, but ashamedly, that’s not true anymore. I’m so angry that I’ve wished bad things would happen to others to make it go away. How do I keep from letting the current climate change who I am? — Who Is This Person?

A: Dear Who Is This Person?,

If we pay close attention, many of us can find at least some subtle, if not extreme, changes in ourselves over the last few years. The day-to-day tone of division on television and social media combined with the pandemic separation can have a strong impact on us if we don’t wrap ourselves with constant awareness. It’s a full-time, conscious job that’s not easy.

As we consider the changes we might see in ourselves, it’s important to pay close attention to where our triggers and emotions come from. What content are we engaging in that gets our hackles up and makes us want to strike? If we’re aware of this, then we can start to question ourselves as to what’s actually triggering us.

At first blush, it often feels like the issues lie with others. When we look further, it’s our uncomfortable feelings of fear and uncertainty that we want to go away. Unfortunately, projecting onto and blaming others is a lot easier than taking responsibility and trying to change ourselves. But once we are accountable for our fear, then we have something with which to work. We only have control of ourselves and can dig in to heal the root(s) of that fear. Once the fear has been neutrally seen, worked with, and healed, we won’t feel the need to strike at others because we’ve nurtured our inner peace. Healing our inner fears and wounds holds triggers at bay, and if there’s some residue left, we keep walking the spiral of the medicine wheel to heal it over time.

Don’t let the outside world alter your inner world. When difficulty abounds, go deeper into your inner well to be peaceful on the inside, regardless of what’s happening on the outside.

Alecia Rice is a Spiritual Alchemist and a personal advisor for those ready to unravel their issues with conscious choices. She offers grounded perspectives for energy management and sage insights in columns, videos, and podcasts. Visit for more information. Submit personal questions and quandaries to [email protected].  

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