By Alecia Rice –
Q. I’ve made lots of personal changes, and don’t feel like the same person I used to be. Lately, I feel like my levels of tolerance are getting shorter instead of longer with certain people. I thought doing my personal work would make things easier, but in some ways they seem to be getting harder. What can I do when I can’t tolerate certain energies and attitudes?
— Changed and Confused
A. Dear Changed and Confused,
This is not unusual for those on a transformative path. You have two basic choices; either remove yourself from such energies, or alchemize the situation by working with your triggers.
This is the time of the great unveiling, when illusions are stripped away while truths are being revealed. Those practicing detachment will grow more into flexibility, which enables one to navigate the shifts with more ease. Those who rigidly resist the revelations and cling tightly to what was before will find life to be fraught with stress and confusion.
If you’re opening your heart and examining new ways of thinking and being, I applaud you.
As our consciousness raises, and we set our sights inward, the mundane things of the outer world begin to fall away. We see with new eyes, hear with new ears, and feel with a new heart. Some call this experience being “born again,” others call it “waking up.” This process resets our internal compass and guides us in new directions. Over time, we often find that we’re in this world, but not necessarily of it as our values, perspectives, and interests shift with newfound awareness.
As internal transformation occurs, it also affects the outside as to what we enjoy, and what we don’t. We often find that people and situations we used to engage with now feel a bit mundane, empty, and maybe even irritating. The small talk of nothingness bores us, as we crave interactions and conversations that are juicy with growth, and perspective that quenches our thirst for connection and self-awareness. As we raise our personal vibration and knowingness, it’s not unusual to feel intolerant towards untruths, gossip, and surface interactions. This intolerance can serve at first to sharpen the conviction of our inner truths, and can eventually evolve into compassion instead of judgment for those who don’t yet know what we have learned.
We can’t change others, so these opportunities allow us to utilize the tools in our spiritual tool belts, by challenging ourselves to find peace in the midst of situations that don’t resonate. They also allow us to practice good boundary setting, so that we can create a life of higher purpose and resonance. We do so by surrounding ourselves with people and situations which feed our souls and are good energetic matches, while letting relationships that drain us fall by the wayside. It will sometimes be difficult to watch them fall away, so we check ourselves for codependence and unhealthy attachments to aid in our healing and acceptance of what is.
This is a spiritual journey that is made alone, yet can be enriched by others who are also pointed in a similar direction. I recommend that you seek out and nurture friendships that encourage you to be who you wish to become, while providing you opportunities for truth and accountability. Let those be the substance in your life that sustains you on your new path, and eventually some of these irritations will evolve into non-issues.
Q. How do I know if I’m in judgement of someone or just observing what’s happening with them? I watch people make decisions that seem fraught with future obstacles. I don’t feel that I judge them, but sometimes I feel guilty for seeing what I see, and feeling like it may not be the best decision for them. Am I judging? — Observing Judgement
A. Dear Observing Judgement,
Several years ago, when I was working closely with author Neale Donald Walsch, I asked him this question. He suggested the next time this happened that I check in with what I was feeling in my body. If I felt energy towards the person or situation, then I was probably in judgement. If I didn’t feel energy towards them, then I was most likely in observation.
Practice this to see what it tells you. If you find yourself in judgement, it’s the perfect opportunity to work on a healthy practice of detachment, because it’s not about them, it’s about your response to them.
Alecia Rice integrates higher concepts with wisdom to bring forth balance, perspective, and clarity within interpersonal relationships. She is a personal advisor, speaker, and a gatherer of women. For advice on a personal issue, you’re invited to email questions to: AskAlecia@moontribevillage.com. Maybe you’ll find the answer posted in next month’s issue. Discussions continue at “Ask Alecia” on Facebook.