By Ania Haas
How can you know who you are and experience self-realization?
Everyone and everything around you gives you hints about yourself. You perceive the world not as it is but as you and your internal programs allow you. Basically, we all perceive the world in slightly different ways. Every person you meet holds a mirror and shows you bits and pieces of yourself as a reflection in that mirror.
You can recognize the pieces of yourself in individuals you admire, and you can also be triggered by others which may bring up feelings of rejection, not being loved, or not being accepted. All those mirrors are important to look at without preference; that one is better than the other, because they are perfectly designed to be used in process work. Awakening, finding inner power and achieving your goals are processes connected to letting go of the shadows—aspects of yourself that you don’t like, don’t accept, or push away—along with strengthening the aspects of yourself that you like and would like to grow. True self-work starts with honest self-evaluation, which begins with allowing yourself to be curious, loving and friendly to what comes through observation.
Last month, I invited you to send emails to five of your friends to give you information about the talents and unique characteristics that they see in you. If you didn’t have a chance to do it, you can read about it online at https://consciouscommunitymagazine.com/why-you-dont-get-the-things-you-want. This exercise is a wonderful way to understand how others
perceive you and to start building your awareness. With this activity, your feelings about yourself can be confirmed, or just the opposite, you might receive a note that surprises you. Either way, take the feedback you receive, look at it, break it down and feel how it resonates inside of you.
For example, if someone told you that you are a great listener; think of the last time you listened well, recall how you listened and connected to the speaker. Did you listen to the voice or connect through emotions? Did you ask questions back? Or, maybe you used your body to show your engagement in the conversation? Give yourself space and time to take this journey inside. After that, recall a couple of times when you didn’t listen so well and ask yourself how you felt. What emotions trigger when you think of those experiences? Ask yourself what impacted it? What prevented you from being present for the other person? Finally, connect those two pieces and think of ways to improve your listening skills. Building self-awareness in the process of self-evaluation is a foundation of becoming authentically yourself, your realized self.
Self-evaluation is not a one-time test and then all is done. It is an ongoing process of “checking-in” and becoming aware of yourself in each moment. When you are strengthening your awareness muscle, working on letting go of the past heavy experiences, releasing emotions (shadows) and surrounding yourself with positive emotions, activities and people, you are not only helping yourself to feel good, becoming more powerful and achieving more, but also, you are helping others. Emotionally intelligent people are the ones that can stop, feel and respond with clarity, without emotional charge.
What are some other ways to practice non-judgment and self-awareness?
Pay attention to the way you feel. Stop and look for sensations and delay your response. Become aware of how your mood impacts others. Ask yourself what triggers your emotions, and what types of emotions are being triggered? Observe how your emotions and moods impact your work and performance.
If you would like to share your experience with me, or if you have any questions, please send me an email at email@example.com. I’m sending you lots of good energy. See you next month!
Ania Haas, M.S. is a psychologist, a life coach and an expert in the body and mind connection. Ania is known for helping others to achieve their goals, clear emotional blockages and find clarity in life. She is the founder of Mindful Way Studio, a place to explore and learn more about yourself through expressive arts and other mindful therapies. She is an organizer and supporter of the “Stellar Women Tribe,” an empowering conference for women and conscious community. To know more, visit www.mindfulwaystudio.com and www.aniahaas.com.