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By Alecia Rice –
Q: I was recently laid off. This is a dreadful situation. I’m scared of what may happen from here and need some advice to calm myself. — Laid Off Lacey
A: Dear Laid Off Lacey,
I’m sorry to hear this. Virtually everyone would share the same feelings in this situation. I’d like to approach this question from a higher viewpoint to bridge it for long-term perspective, which hopefully will assist you in the present as well.
I’d like to share a concept, which arises from the question “Is it good or is it bad?” and what helps determine which one is the answer in any circumstance. At first glance, most come to a conclusion by how a situation currently feels. In your case, this probably feels disastrous, while totally different scenarios might feel really great like getting a new job. Who could know except for one who has vision that reaches into the future to bring back a multitude of possibilities?
Imagine that you knew that you were energetically set up to sacrifice this job at this particular time to meet the opportunity of another job opening that would provide longer term prospects for better pay, security and advancement. Would this insight cause you to feel better about this loss? As you might see, the landscape of future possibility is constrained by our sight which is limited to this moment in time. This concept can be applied to most situations where we tend to make value judgments based upon our current feelings without knowing what opportunities pave the path ahead.
Judging situations based on current feelings is an incomplete way to evaluate circumstances because we can’t predict what’s coming in the future. Assessing situations from a longer term, higher view can help ease anxiety because one trusts that things will eventually work out for the best when combined with faith that God or the universe aspires for nothing less than our highest.
Fear only exists in the present. Our goal is to alleviate fear by creating space for peace within ourselves with whatever tools we have available. Sometimes this calls for playing with the magic of perspective, which can shift us instantly from bad feelings to neutral or good. Other times it can be to sit in meditation or breath-work to assist in cleansing erratic energy from the body, receive clarity and tranquilize fear in the present.
It can be quite comforting to know that our options aren’t necessarily determined by the prevailing narrowed path of vision into the future. The intention as conscious beings is to remember that we are not limited only by what we see while holding space in a field of unlimited potentialities.
My first grade daughter had her face painted at a school carnival. She loved the paint and cried as I washed it off in the bathtub that night, but she couldn’t go to school the next day with half-peeled off face-paint. I didn’t feel right about either decision I was faced with. I felt conflicted. Did I do the right thing? — Face-paint Scrubber
A: Dear Face-paint Scrubber,
Parents often find themselves in situations like this and don’t consciously realize what motivates their decisions. It feels as if you were torn between honoring your daughter’s tearful love of the face-paint and your obligation to keep up the image of good parent by making sure she was squeaky clean for school the next day.
What would’ve happened if you didn’t wash it off? Would you have respected her fondness for something special while throwing away the projected thought of what other’s might think? No one wants to be seen as a bad parent, yet cultural expectations often influence our decision-making process without our realization.
I’d ask, if she didn’t have school the next day, would you still have washed it off? This should help you better grasp the issue with which you were really struggling. There was obviously something poking your subconscious that caused internal conflict, which tells me that you may have washed it off from external pressure to “save face” as a parent. If so, this feeling offers you a nugget of experience to use as a future trigger to look deeper within yourself before deciding.
It can be helpful to grow the muscle that more consciously informs us as to whether choices are coming from external or internal influences. This exercise allows you to excavate those unconscious drivers equipping you to recognize similar energies to better discern later on what is truly prompting your decisions.
Alecia Rice integrates higher concepts with wisdom to bring forth balance, perspective and clarity. She’s a personal advisor, speaker and gatherer of women. For perspective on personal issues, you’re invited to text questions and comments to 681-321-1109. Discussions continue at Ask Alecia on Facebook.
Laid Off Lacey – This is a situation of loss… not just of the position but also the thought around losing security. Since having security is a fundamental human need, it trigger a lot of fight and flight response in us. Socially, while many can understand what you’re feeling, we have never really provided a framework of support. We feel we have to ‘go it alone’. This change is an opportunity for creating a more aligned lifestyle and growth. (And, while I’m facing the same situation of ‘loss’ right now, so I truly get the feelings, this isn’t a new place for me in this lifetime.) There is so much potential in such a situation but it takes someone to ‘hold the space’ with you while you feel the fear and move forward. I wish you well in finding that clarity and space. There is love here for you and all will be well.